You Hold my Heart

Spring; the transtion period between winter and summer. You've carried me through my winter... Rebirth, growth, renewal of my spirit is now. Sometimes, I go back to old ways; seeking other things other than you. And then I remember that you and only you Hold my Heart and I must guard it from all other things. Father, help me see you now and always..

The Otherside...

Happy Easter everyone. What a glorious day it is...
I was having my quiet time with the Lord this morning and reflecting on his death and resurrection and what this day means in the life of a Christian. To me this day is Hope. It is Hope that amidst the chaos and destruction that we are often times subjected to (or cause ourselves) the Lord has a plan for each of our lives.

I was searching for a song this morning and I came across a website that had this image. It caught my eye because it is a much, much prettier image of my "road" in my previous post below. However, it is a perfect representation of the true road we are on.

<----This image has Hope and Beauty. Although, the road is still muddy, the grass isn't perfect, one can't deny its beauty. The sky that overwhelms the road with its beauty and warmth. This is what the Lord has in mind for my "road" to look like. It's not going to be perfect, I am subjected to the same pain and hurts as everyone else, but the difference is that these pale in comparison to what is ahead. This road leads to Him. And in the meantime, he is using it to mold me, transform me, strengthen me, build compassion, love, sensitivity and forgiveness.

I like how this author phrased it, so I'm going to use his words:

One of life’s most frequently asked questions is, “Why, God?” The only answer that fits all situations is this—“This can make you more like Jesus than you’ve ever been.” What happens in your life is either something your Father sends or He allows. But in either case, He only allows into your life what can make you more valuable, more Christ-like.

You can’t learn to love like Jesus unless there’s someone in your life who’s hard to love; you can’t learn His sensitivity without hurting; you can’t be Jesus-patient without having to wait, or to put up with someone difficult; you can’t learn joy without circumstances that you have to rise above; you can’t learn peace without some pressure; you can’t learn faith without needs that are bigger than your ability to meet them.

—The Oven, the Wheel, and the Masterpiece

And then within this same Blog post I found this:

So God DOES care, and when you trust Him, God will always direct you down the best road. Not necessarily the happiest road, the smoothest road, or the easiest road, but the road that will lead you to the best thing: becoming more and more like Jesus every day. ~MR Willow

So, that's pretty cool..God used the image that I had previously selected and gave me a new one. One more beautiful and full of Hope. See, this is why my GOD is so great, He cares about all the details and is so very creative in his messages. Thank you Father.

This image was sent to me from Watermark announcing the Easter service this coming Sunday. Now, this is what I love about Watermark..its not about the easter bunny, or egg hunts, or candy. (who thought of that anyway, so confusing) It's not about pretending..ever.

Christ died for the destruction that we have created in the world around us and within ourselves. He rose again and in this we have Hope..hope that after an earthquake..literally and figuratively speaking, He WILL rebuild. I cant express how crazy it was when I opened this, because as I was journaling today and talking to God, I was expressing how much these past few months have felt like a big Tsunami in my life. I mean, the events have passed, but now I'm left with total destruction. "Where do I go from here?" I see destruction, brokeness, sorrow in my heart.. is there anything worth saving? Then He reminded me that he's in the business of rebuilding.

But it will never look the same I asked..I will NEVER be the same after this and this makes me angry. And then He told me "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature, the old things have passed away; behold the new things have come." 2 Cor 5:17

There are many people that I've shared the events of the last few months, and a few that I know I've kept at arm's length. I have hope this will change soon. It's a season for restoration. Praise God.

Recipe for Love
& embracing singleness (eek)

This isn't a topic I usually blog about, However, it has been weighing on my mind lately due to some recent events. As a believer, I know that there is a proper way to embrace this time (singleness) as a very special time to grow with the Lord and serve him full heartily.

However - as we all must admit- there are definitely those times when our focus is not on how to use this time wisely, but how to land our prince charming (Or Princess, if you're a guy) We were wired to Love. That is so awesome. But also, so complicated. So, how do we do deal and embrace singleness..tough question.

A little back story on me. I have learned that I am "in love" with the idea of Love. I love romantic comedies, songs, books, etc, the list goes on and on. However, as my closest friends will tell you..I have never actually been "in love" with someone to the extent that I wanted to pursue it further. Hence, my bad track record with relationships and being the "bad guy" (girl) in the end for breaking it off. I realize now, that I was never fully prepared..armed with HOW to love someone. This is where the Lord comes in. Only He can prepare our hearts for this type of pure, unconditional, selfless love. So many of us come into relationships with past hurts, hangups, insecurities, etc. Things that have never been dealt with. Two incomplete people do not make one complete person. You see, the phrase "You complete me" is inaccurate. We must complement, not complete each other. The Lord is the master chef of LOVE and has the perfect recipe:

1) Patience
2) Kindness
3) Protection
4) Trust
5) Hope
6) Perseverance

Why do we continue to add ingredients to ruin it?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

"Charm is decpetive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. ¹⁷And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him"

Colossians 3:15-17

Thank you Father for your word.
For your comfort.
For the Peace that dwells in my heart.
For restored relationships.

For the brokenness that you allowed in my life that drew me closer to you. For a deeper understanding of what it means to follow you.

A while back, I came to you like never before. My heart broken and my feelings numb from the betrayal I experienced. At the time, I didn't know how much good you would bring out of something so evil. How could this happen to me and how could you let this happen once again were the thoughts that flowed through my mind.

You held my heart.

I remember sitting outside my grandmother's house with my bible in my hands, looking up at the sky and asking you to please take the pain away, to guide me on my next steps because I couldn't do this any longer. I felt so much pain in my heart. As if it had been broken in a million little pieces. Someone I loved so much, betraying me. Father, you were there..

You embraced me.

What I heard at the Porch Tuesday night touched my heart because the speaker told a story of a man who had been robbed. After being robbed, the man quickly put together a list of all the things he was thankful for. The last item on his list caught my attention. He thanked the Lord for being the one that was robbed and not the robber. Father, I was robbed of trust. As much as this hurts me, I realized for the first time, that I am not the one that has to live with that in my heart. And then..

You spoke to me.

"So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him"

Luke 17:2-4

"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Matthew 18:34-35

'This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly."
Genesis 50:16-18

For the first time, I realized that as wronged as I felt by him, he gave me a gift. He lead me closer to you...

He broke my heart.

You transformed it.


Thank you.